Messy House, Busy Brain: ADHD and the Struggle to Stay Tidy

Anishia Denee
Sep 3
2 min read

ADHD + Mess = Real Life Chaos

Not the Instagram-perfect kind of mess. The real kind: laundry piles in the corner, random stacks of paper, crumbs underfoot, and half-finished drinks in every room.

And the hardest part? It’s not just the mess itself — it’s the shame spiral that often comes with it.

We’ve all heard some version of:

“If you just put things away when you were done, it wouldn’t get this bad.”

But here’s the truth no one says loudly enough: For ADHD adults, keeping a space tidy isn’t “simple.” It’s a complex executive functioning challenge.

Why Tidying Feels So Hard with ADHD

Here are a few reasons cleaning and organizing can feel like climbing a mountain:

🧠 Object permanence struggles – If it’s out of sight, it might as well not exist. So things stay visible… until they become overwhelming visual clutter.
🧠 Task initiation + sequencing – “Put this away” is actually multiple steps: noticing, deciding, walking over, opening a cabinet, remembering where it goes. That’s a lot of brainwork.
🧠 Perfectionism + all-or-nothing thinking – If I can’t do it all, why start at all?
🧠 Sensory sensitivity + overstimulation – A messy room can feel unbearable… but so can the act of cleaning it.

Sometimes the tasks get done. Other times, there’s a wall of awful between you and the dream of a tidy space.

The “5 Things Tidying Method”

One tool that helps many ADHD brains is the 5 Things Tidying Method from KC Davis’ book “How to Keep House While Drowning.”

Infographic of the ‘5 Things Method’ by KC Davis. Five hand-drawn icons show categories of tidying: 1. garbage (trash bag), 2. laundry (basket of clothes), 3. dishes (stacked cups and plates), 4. things without a place (open box), and 5. things with a place (glasses). Text at the bottom reads Authentic Self ADHD Coaching.

Her method breaks every mess down into five simple categories:

Trash
Laundry
Dishes
Things that have a place
Things that don’t have a place yet

That’s it. Instead of being paralyzed by the whole picture, you can pick just one category — even for five minutes — and that counts as a win.

Releasing Shame Around Mess

Here’s the truth to hold onto:

Your house might be messy — but you are not failing.
Your brain might work differently — but you are not broken.
Your to-do list might be long — and you’re still allowed to rest.

If you need a permission slip today, here it is:

🌱 You’re allowed to have needs.
🌱 You’re allowed to not be “on top of it.”
🌱 You’re allowed to let mess exist without it meaning anything about your worth.

Reflective Questions for You

If any part of this felt familiar, maybe one of these questions will meet you where you are:

✨ What helps you feel more at peace in your space — even when it’s messy?

✨ What if your messy space wasn’t a sign of failure, but a reflection of your real, full life?

✨ What would it feel like to let your home reflect your needs instead of someone else’s expectations?

✨ If you want to try the 5 Things Method, which category feels most doable for you right now?